Rudy the “loving husband”. Or is he just absent-minded and ignorant?

Much is being made of Giuliani interrupting his speech to the National Rifle Association so he could take a phone call from his wife Judith.

When he pulled the same stunt at a campaign rally this June, the crowd applauded. Giuliani Campaign Spokesman Jeff Barker insists the call was not planned. One could wonder if cute little mentions of the wifey wouldn’t soften Giuliani’s untidy family life and marital history in socially conservative eyes. Maybe he could start another campaign speech signature, such as he has done with demanding apolgies for contradictory views on issues.

When we first heard of this little human touch, we immediately thought it was staged.  Certainly a man with the kind of extramarital experience that Giuliani has would’ve atleast learned to turn off his cell phone in case the wife calls… If it wasn’t staged, as his Campaign Spokesman has said, that leads us to call into question Giuliani’s good judgement.

If you were campaigning for an upcoming US Presidential election, and trying to appeal to a group that you have opposed in the past, would you leave your cell phone when heading to the podium? And if you were absent-minded enough to leave your ringer on, would your wife be kept so blind to your schedule that she would phone you in the middle of an important speech?

On that note, we’ll sign off for the day. Rudy certainly is keeping us busy with his gaffs and I’m sure there’ll be more to come later this week.

When Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction.

Rudy Giuliani is back on the campaign trail. Where is he you may ask? In the bellweather states of Iowa or New Hampshire? Critical states such as California or Florida? Of course not, Rudy Giuliani is over in London, England, appealing to more paradoxes than just the English vote.

Why would it be beneficial for Rudy to campaign in England? Giuliani is not a Presidential candidate yet. And the last I heard, the English haven’t had a say in US politics since pre-American Revolution. Remember though, that the US Constitution prevents its politicians from accepting foreign titles (such as Knight of the British Empire) and that didn’t stop Rudy from accepting his Knighthood in 2002. Rules be damned! The constitution and all that other red tape is just another example of the problems of big government anyways.

At any rate, what is important is that Rudy is demonstrating his international appeal and presence on the global stage. Giuliani’s leading lady (Margaret Thatcher) hasn’t had a commanding role since the late 1980’s. She may offer a retro draw to the performance though.

Unfortunately for Rudy, competition wasn’t far away on his big date of Sept. 19. While explaining to a “small group of reporters” at a “posh London hotel” that he is “probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world”, a crowd was gathering in the lobby to get a glimpse of a different American, Dustin Hoffman. It appears that Giuliani’s performance had been upstaged.

Dustin Hoffman is an actor, famous for various roles in films such as The Graduate, Rain Man, and Wag The Dog. In 1982, Hoffman saw success when he performed in drag for the film Tootsie. Hoffman’s role was that of Michael Dorsey, an actor with such a reputation for being difficult that he was no longer employable. In the film, Dorsey reinvents himself as “actress” Dorothy Michaels. As Dorothy Michaels, he lands a role in a New York soap opera, and receives success that even Dorsey himself wouldn’t have dreamed of. To further illustrate the success of “Ms. Michaels”, she is featured on the cover of several national magazines.

While Tootsie’s plot is certainly better-known than Mr. Giuliani’s career as Mayor of New York City before September 11, 2001, it is surprisingly similar. In the days prior to 9/11, Rudolph W. Giuliani had such a difficult reputation one could safely assume his political career was finished. During his time in office Giuliani often dressed as a woman, although the ruse was not deceptive. His alter-ego of ‘Rudia’ was never intended to mask the real Giuliani. Rudy, however, was nonetheless transformed into a “likeable character” just in time. The transformation was in a New York tragedy instead of an innocent New York soap opera. Giuliani in his role as “America’s Mayor” achieved a level of respect worldwide that Rudy himself couldn’t have imagined possible just days before. Giuliani even graced the cover of TIME Magazine when he was selected as “Person of the Year”. The outcome of Rudy’s transformation remains to be seen though. Will he unmask himself as did Dorothy Michaels? Will he hold on to his secret and try for a sequel story? Who knows.

It is often said that truth can be stranger than fiction. In this London hotel lobby, the two almost blended together. One has to wonder if either of the men concerned saw the connection. Or if Dustin Hoffman just has an uncanny knack of creating paralells between the dramatic and real-life politics. I’d bet the image of Dustin Hoffman in the red sequin gown is more familiar worldwide than either Rudy or Rudia though!

First Ron Paul, Now Hillary Clinton: Guiliani demands an apology

Rudy is establishing a pattern here. He’s got 3 trump cards: the dubious distinction of 9/11, a debated coorelation of his mayoral term and a reduction in NYC’s crime rate and a reputation for being tough on domestic security - even though he was appointed to the Iraq Study Group, never attended a meeting and was subsequently removed due to his truancy. When his rivals to the US Presidency challenge him on any of these cards, he starts demanding an apology. Remember the debate where Ron Paul suggested that US foreign relations in the Middle East may encourage Islamic fundamentalist terrorism? What did Guiliani do? Asked Ron Paul to apologize. Now, Senator Hillary Clinton has taken an anti-war stance. Rudy’s spin doctors are busy implicating her in MoveOn.org’s ad, insinuating that she insulted US troops by her questioning of General Petraeus and… Giuliani is demanding that Clinton apologize.

Giuliani has been slamming Hillary Clinton lately in an attempt to tie her to MoveOn.org’s criticisms of General Petraeus. He also lambasted the New York Times and the rate paid for their anti-Petraeus ad, a so-called “lefty discount”. It turns out that there was no “lefty discount”: MoveOn.org paid the standard rate for a flexible placement within a 7-day period. Giuliani was able to get that same rate for his pro-Petraeus ad placed several days later. The White House stepped in with Dana Perino’s (White House Spokeswoman) quote:

If you want to attack him [President George W. Bush], fine, but the generals, and by association the military, should be out of bounds from partisan attacks

Not to be outdone, Rudy is now running an online ad with even more vitriol, furthering Hillary’s supposed involvement in a “character attack” of not only General Petraeus, but now also the troops, those brave men and women that, incidentally, Guiliani avoided joining the ranks of during Vietnam.

Just when our troops need all our support to finish the job, Hillary Clinton is turning her back on them. General Petraeus and the brave men and women now serving under him deserve an apology. And our nation deserves better. Senator Clinton, do the right thing. Apologize for your comments and condemn the MoveOn.org ad.”

None of it is surprising really, considering that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11 in the first place but has been successfully superimposed into that day’s events by the current administration. The next thing we know, Guiliani will be accusing Clinton of involvement with Al Qaeda, and then that Clinton IS Osama bin Laden in drag… Oh, wait a minute.

I for one hope that Clinton follows Ron Paul’s lead and holds her ground. Everyone knows that an apology constitutes an admission of guilt. If Guiliani thinks he’ll win this election with his brand of courtroom drama 101 he’ll have to think again. The American people aren’t that foolish.

What’ll be next? Maybe, “Giuliani demands that McCain apologizes for actually having served in Vietnam and stealing his tough-guy thunder”? Or “Guiliani demands that Romney apologize for being a Mormon and actually being allowed to have several wives”? Oh what fun we could have with this one.

Anti-Giuliani Gear Already Available

In the beginning, He’s No Altar Boy was simply critical of Giuliani, attempting to remain unbiased (although we had a sneaking suspicion Rudy was a baddie). Something for everyone was offered in the shop: pro-Giuliani gear, books and film, Hillary shirts, anti-Bush bumper stickers, and general 2008 election merchandise. As the site has evolved though, it has taken a distinctly anti-Giuliani tone.

Grassroots campaigns will be the only way Rudy will loose his hold on the frontrunner GOP position. As recently shown, Giuliani has quite an influential friend in Fox News. Some wildly unflattering stories surrounding Rudy have recently surfaced, with major media hardly batting an eyelid. Not surprisingly, support for Giuliani has remained constant throughout. As 2008 election campaigns progress, perhaps more coverage of Giuliani flaws will take place. We shouldn’t wait on that however, just standing by while he strides arrogantly into the GOP Presidential Candidacy.

Shopping the often politically satirical cafepress.com’s 2008 election gear, you have to bypass alot of pro-Rudy gear to get to anything against the man. He’s No Altar Boy has decided to take the frontrunner position in the Rudy Opposition campaign with comedic and blatantly to-the-point merchandise aimed at both New Yorkers and the public at large.

If you’ve got something against Rudy, either Republican or Democrat (and we know he’s managed to offend people of every race, religion and political persuasion throughout his political and marital career) now is the time to say it!

He’s No Altarboy joins the blogosphere

Welcome to He’s No Altarboy’s Rudy Giuliani blog! Never one to disappoint, I’m sure Rudy will be giving us plenty of blog fodder in the months ahead. He’s No Altarboy has been covering Rudy Giuliani and his crazy antics for a while now. Be sure to visit He’s No Altarboy for some background info on America’s mayor, Rudolph W. Giuliani, and come back often for our continuing coverage!